What are benefits of husband sharing?

  • I’ve been sharing my husband with my best friend for a few years. Until I started reading Q&A sex topics here on Quora, I didn’t even know that spouse sharing was a ‘thing’ that people did. The three of us are all in our early 60s but obviously we were younger when it started. Basically it was sort of like a FWB collection of needs that got us started. My libido was declining but my husbands was not. I did accommodate him when he got frisky but my heart wasn’t in it like when we were younger and I could tell it disappointed him.

    At the same time, she had been divorced for many years and hadn’t dated since then. She had been asked out a few times but she’d felt no inclination towards the men who asked her and turned them down. We occasionally included her in things we did like Saturday morning breakfasts at the restaurants we patronize. She loves gourmet dinners and she has asked us to go with her because that was more fun than going alone.

    Going to those kinds of restaurants and was something she and he were much more interested in that I ever was. For me, it is just too much food and too much wine and always left me feeling overfed and fat. I began to notice there was a lively spark developing between them that I found amusing and entertaining. I was happy for both of them and because they never excluded me, I didn’t feel threatened.

    She is more assertive in general than I am. For instance with those dinners, she did the research on which place to try next and made the reservations and half the time it was her treat and she paid for the three of us. It didn’t surprise me that while she didn’t cross the line of openly flirting with him, she did toss a few subtle gestures toward him that he was too slow to pick up on. Each time, she would give me a quick eyebrow raise look toward me which in girl talk means, ‘are you okay with this?’ which I answered with a grin or a wink.

    There were a couple times I ruminated on how I would feel if his needs for more sex and her need for at least some sex, intersected and they carried that forward into actually doing something about it. I thought it was likely be okay but thinking and feeling are two different things. It’s playing with fire.

    She asked if we’d be interested in taking some ballroom dance classes. She thought it might be a way for her to meet men and even if she didn’t it would be fun anyway. He was lukewarm but with us two girls encouraging him on, he agreed. As a way to meet men, it was a bust. There were more girls than guys. However it did give me the chance to sort out my feelings as I watched the two of them dancing. As they danced she was now blatantly flirting with him and he was thoroughly enjoying the attention. Honestly, it made me happy.

    My husband speaks at conferences and I sometimes go with him if it’s a nice climate and venue. She had asked if she could come along with us sometime. One in San Diego was coming up. He went for the first two days for the conference and we flew down Friday afternoon for the weekend. The three of us stayed in the same room and we had a great time.

    The next one was in Las Vegas a couple months later; she asked me how I was feeling about her flirting with him and I gave her the go ahead. It was at the Bellagio which has those beautiful fountains. Again we were staying in the same room. She chose this stunning restaurant and treated us to dinner. It was interesting to watch her working him. She talked him up about his favorite cocktails and suggested he try this new one; he loved it.

    The meal went of that way. He was putty in her hands and while he may have suspected something was up, he went along with everything including an after dinner drink which I’d never seen him do. After dinner we were all buzzed and walked down to the fountain show. It was a little chilly and she suggested we huddle together. After the show she announced ‘group hug’ and we hugged. Then she said that we looked so cute and told us to kiss. We did. Then she asked him if he had one for her too. I told him to go ahead and kiss her.

    It was a lengthy exciting kiss for them. She told him to kiss me again; he did. Then I told him to kiss her again; he did. When we got up to our room we girls were in a giggly mood and changed into our matching lingerie sets. Okay we’re older girls and we have plenty of wrinkles and sags. The allure of lingerie for girls our age is more in what it promises than what it reveals. We’d obviously dressed to entice him, for success and sex. He was now catching on and was only too happy to go back to kissing us.

    None of us had any experience with threesomes. She and I had discussed ahead of time and honestly what I really wanted for that first time was for the two of them to just go ahead and finish with just each other. I did participate in some of the foreplay but really, it had been a lot of food, alcohol, and adrenaline and I was nearly exhausted. I told him to go ahead that I was going to sit this one out and slid off the bed.

    The only thing I wished I’d done differently was for them to have had sex in her bed instead of our bed. Noting is perfect the first time. I wasn’t angry but I was miffed at having no place where I felt comfortable. It was a little weird sleeping in her wet spot. My mood wasn’t the best the following morning and her attempts to sooth me were annoying. He looked scared and timid which also irritated me.

    We spent a nice, if quiet, day at the pool. That night we went to the Cirque show. She and I had a chance to talk and that ironed things out. That night I wanted to participate in the foreplay once again. She and I lingered in the bathroom getting ready to change into our lingerie sets and talked about sex. The previous night we had rushed through changing but that night it was like she read my mind and asked me to help her change. It had been decades since either of us had seen another girl naked. There was something appealing about removing her clothing and touching her skin. Our eyes met a few times which caused a flush and a blush.

    When we went out into the room, he was at the window looking at the fountain. We snuggled up to him and took turns kissing him. Mostly our hands were on him but there were times when we caressed each other’s shoulders and arms. As part of foreplay, we took turns kneeling and fellating him slowly. Even though his dick was our focus, there was some erotic attraction between us. As I was kissing him and she was sucking on him, she surreptitiously ran her hand up my thigh and gave my butt a tiny pat. She pulled him into her bed. I got into our bed and silently masturbated while they were having sex. That was a much better night.

    The sex was nice but what I really liked was having her with me while he was doing all his conference stuff. We did spa time, pool time, lunch time, shopping time, even took in a movie one afternoon. Like I said, we’ve been doing this for a few years. There have been many adjustments along the way but we have something that works nicely for all of us.

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